okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
