no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I looked at my own cervix.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
