Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
