So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize