whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
