jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
