This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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