My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I need to stop coming to work sober
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
