So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think I sprained my soul last night
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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