I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
another moral hangover. fuck.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
