R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
