How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
