I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
