I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
