Cold hands, warm shart.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
