i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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