I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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