I'm really into asian looking animals
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
