Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
