nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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