Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
