Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
