they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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