I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
