Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
