In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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