The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
