I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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