i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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