I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
