Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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