Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We are two peas in an std pod
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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