dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
