i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
MIDGETS
????
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
