He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
