yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize