Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
