Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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