No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
