my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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