Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
