Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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