She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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