i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
