Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
