is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
