I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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