I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize