I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
barbara walters just said penis...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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