i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
