I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
