I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
