girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize