I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
