I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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