I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she peed on how many people?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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