just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
