All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
