yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
